The Vietnamese culture from an insider's look
Today you'll learn about Vietnamese culture, not from a textbook, but from my daily life. Since 2012, I've been living and working full-time here in Vietnam's hospitality scene. I've really settled in: I married a wonderful Vietnamese woman, and we have three kids together!
This isn't a vacation for me; it's my home. I get to see the real Vietnam every single day, and I'm happy to share what I've learned.
What Makes the Culture Special
Vietnamese culture is a rich mix of old traditions with strong influences from China, Southeast Asia, and France. What's most important here?
Family, community, and keeping things harmonious.
The Core Ideas:
Respecting Ancestors: This is huge. People always honor their family history. Altars in homes remind everyone of the people who came before them.
Big Festivals: The biggest event of the year is the Lunar New Year, or Tết. It's all about family coming together, wishing for good luck, and a fresh start.
Art and Food: We have cool arts like Water Puppetry (Múa rối nước). And of course, the food is famous! It's always fresh, balanced, and meant to be shared.
Remember, Vietnam has 54 different ethnic groups, so the culture changes a lot from north to south. People here also mix their beliefs, mostly Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoism, and Catholicism.
Being Polite: Simple Rules to Follow
If you want to connect with locals, knowing a few polite habits makes a huge difference.
General Greetings (For Visitors):
For tourists and quick stops, a smile and the phrase "Xin chào" (hello) is perfectly okay and appreciated!
Local Respect (The Insider's Way):
If you want to greet someone like a local—or if you live here—you need to Use the right titles. This is key to showing respect based on age and position, even when they aren't family:
Em (younger brother or sister)
Anh (older brother)
Chị (older sister)
Ông (grandfather) or Bà (grandmother)
When you live here and visit family, the titles get much more specific. You address people with the exact position they hold in the family tree. For example, you would use Dì (pronounced "Zee") for a maternal aunt (your mother's sister). It's a complex but beautiful system that shows exactly how much you respect their place in the family.
More Good Manners to Remember:
Use Both Hands: When giving or receiving things, use both hands. It just shows more respect.
Dress Modestly: Cover your shoulders and knees, especially if you go to a temple, pagoda, or someone's home. Try to avoid clothes that are too tight or show too much skin.
Take Off Your Shoes: Always remove your shoes before going into a home, temple, or pagoda.
Be Careful with Hugs/Kisses: Don't do public kissing or big hugs. It can make people feel uncomfortable here.
Respect Elders: Wait for the older people to sit down and start eating first.
Use Your Whole Hand: Don't point with just your finger; use your whole hand to gesture. And never, ever point your feet at people or sacred things!
Basic Phrases Help: Learning simple phrases like "Cảm ơn" (thank you) is always nice and people appreciate it.
Don't Touch Heads: The head is thought of as sacred. Don't touch someone's head, especially a child's.
Bring a Gift: If you visit someone's house, it's normal to bring a small gift, like fruit, sweets, or flowers.
Chopsticks Upright is Bad: Never stick your chopsticks straight up in a bowl of rice. It looks like a funeral ritual. Put them on a rest or the side of the bowl.
Refuse Gently: If someone offers you food or drink, it's polite to accept. If you really can't, you can politely say "Không, cảm ơn" (No, thank you).